You jut your chin out at me,cut your eyes.
Cunningly, you measure me
and I surmise
you've had your fill of taking it,
you've had your share of crime.
And all the sweetest in you
has curled up and died...
You never say the words, I hear them all the same.
This new attitude of yours,
it
burns.
And I,
I feel your rage.
NOTE-This was written in response to a challenge at the New Writers and Readers Welcome blog. Check it out and think of joining if you are a poet.
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7 comments:
appreciate your support on my somewhat corny topic that you turned into something beautiful. And thanks for promoting the site.
The more I read this, the more I like. I love how you imply things without exactly saying it, and the pauses are always at the right times. I have a lot to learn, but we all write differently. To copy your style would be denying me to be me, so I'll just continue to do whatever it is that I do.
beautiful piece ischelle,
the mystery of introspection and the ghost of a solution...brilliant
sara....please excuse the typo...i meant sara and not ischelle..
Hi Sara,
I love the first line. Disturbing & gripping but it says everything.
Hey Crimson, no big deal about the typo. I love ischelle's work and get that you were probably at her blog before mine and that is what made you think of her. Isn't her work so provocative and raw? She's very talented.
Anyway, hugs from me to you, thanks for commenting on my work. I appreciate it so. Hope you are doing well, my friend.
Sara
Hey Susan,
your comments always make me look at my work and see more. It so valuable to me to read your insights so thank you for taking the time.
Hugs,
Sara
Chris,
About the breaks being in the right spot, all I can suggest is that you read your work aloud. That helps me to pause at a more natural point. But I do struggle on how to convey the pauses and the words that are stressed. I hope that I am succesful at that more times than not.
Can't wait to read more of your work. It's such fun to learn about other writers through what their work reveals.
Bye for now,
Sara
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