Thursday, February 28, 2008

Despair is a hunter

fueled by the scent
of giving up
and giving in

that rises in the air
when hope has gone.

Despair has a hunger

opened mouth
it reaches in

slides into the spaces
where life should be found.

Despair came to find me

calling softly,
like a lover,

like a lover who was better
than having no one
at all.

And I should have fought him,
fought him harder than
I did,

but despair feels like home
when despair is all

there is.

Despair is a hunter...

and I am its prey.


paisley said...

despair can be a warm soft place to hide and allow life to pass you by.. sometimes the longer you stay the less you want to leave... very well written....

janetleigh said...

Sara, your poem really succeeds in describing the pain and aloneness of despair, and I like how you highlight despair as one-liners. It's more powerful with those lines separated out from the rest. I love the idea of despair hunting one down and overtaking by guile and seduction. And although I really like how your poem stands as is, I wonder if the poem ends as strongly as you intended, Sara. Is there a longer poem here.. maybe..?

Maybe I'm way off base?..:)

STP said...

This is such a smart poem!! You have really captured despair for what it is and how it behaves AND how alluring it can be.

LittleWing said...

interesting... never thought of despair as a hunter but yes, it truly have spoken so eloquently of a fierce a lover...very good...

Lirone said...

The idea of despair as a hunter/hungry and despair as lover/home are both really powerful - part of me would like to see these two ideas brought together somehow - which is more true? are they both equally true?

A haunting poem as it stands - but
like janetleigh I wonder if there's a little further that this could go.

S. Thomas Summers (Scott) said...

i agree. quite an effort. much enjoyed. i might suggest you drop all punctuaution and arrange the poem accordingly. might add to the stark loneliness. well spun and done.

hope you're well.

Sara said...

First off,thanks for commenting!

At first I thought that maybe the reason the poem felt incomplete was my very purposeful choice to end it with...

You will see that in some of my poems. I use it to say that the pain goes on.

But upon reading I have come up with one more line to add to this poem.

So thank you for the advice. This time I think you all were right on track.

It is very nice of you to take time out of your life to help me. It means a lot to me. I'm touched that you all care enough to comment.


janetleigh said...

Sara, it's great you can accept suggestions from others and from my point of view, I'd only make such a suggestion because I so admire your enormous talent as a poet and my motive is to see your work always shine!

On another note, I've just tagged you for the 6-word memoir meme. Please come by Poetmeister...on the road to Parnassus
for instructions on how to play this meme, okay?

Anonymous said...

lovely have crafted it beautifully!

Geraldine said...

I am impressed. This is a poem that really hits home with me. Been there, done that, too many times really.

Very well written too.

Like the subtitle of your blog, so true.

Glad I stopped by, got here via Average Poet.


Rob Kistner said...

Very poignant Sara... right on point to the topic! Unfortunately, I know sly despair all too well, and his comely sister -- depression.

If this was autobiographical, I wish you far away from despair. ;)