Monday, February 18, 2008

Spun

The oceans of time turn unafraid
of all my
futile rage.

And if I screamed out secrets,
purging my soul.
Would anyone notice

or care?

This world spins on,
like I'm not even here.


Note- This was written for Poets Who Blog Interactive Grab and Go poetry post. The darkened line is courtesy of the Random Line Generator at Poets Online.

16 comments:

paisley said...

that was so thought provoking.. one of the absolute truth of life,, excellent use of the generated line... i rather enjoyed that exercise.....

Ralph Murre said...

and if I screamed out secrets

would anyone know

or care?

a little like blogging, isn't it?
keep screaming, we care! (especially since you scream so poetically)

S. Thomas Summers (Scott) said...

"The oceans of time turn unafraid
of all my
futile rage.

And if I screamed out secrets,
purging my soul.
Would anyone notice

or care?

This world spins on,
like I'm not even here."

i like it - save "oceans of time" - but i think you pulled it from the random lines machine. i find it a tad melodrmatic - too poetic - cliche.

your words ring truer!!

scribblingsandsketches said...

Damn. Scott said what I wanted to say. Your own lines are purer and more emotionally charged.

It actually reminds me very much of that picture The Scream...

Ario

Pam said...

Wow that is some angry poem. It was a good line to start a rant poem. Nice job.

STP said...

"This world spins on, like I'm not even here." Mmm.

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I think, I know I feel very similar. Great words of passion.

Rose

xo

Christine said...

This poem reminds me of a summer I lived with my sister in Hoboken, across the river from Manhatten. People would open their windows at random times, and scream themselves raw into the air.

I like that generator too. I found a great line from it.

janetleigh said...

Funny, Ario, but I thought of Edvard Munch, too. I use his Scream as my other blog's avatar.

Actually, I really like the sound of the first line, Sara. It's strong and conveys what's coming next:

"And if I screamed out secrets,
purging my soul."

Also, makes me think of the primal scream and the scream of the banshee, riding in on the wailing wind. I feel the blast of the roaring scream. Then, the poem ends in a whimper, almost, like it's totally spent. [in like a lion, out like a lamb, sorta]

I'm just thoroughly into your writing these days, Sara; the depth of emotion your poetry is conveying is empowering. Kudos, and a cartwheel!

~beth ♥ said...

Wow! That's all I have .... fantastic. So powerful!

DayDreamer said...

The random line generator started you down an emotional path, and you blazed along with a stunning display or wordsmanship (if there's such a word - there is now!)

Katie McKenna said...

This is very emotionally strong!I believe that it touches us more because we can feel it - as well as remember when we were there.

Stacey said...

This really speaks volumes!

lissa said...

something I would have written but probably would not do as well.

I really like the last line - This world spins on, like I'm not even here - I feel like this sometimes.


wonderful creation!

UL said...

those last two lines are so true...the world goes on...,thank you.

Shirley said...

Hi Sara, I was directed to your blog by (not your)Average Poet! This is beautiful and does indeed speak of the feelings of being lost and frustrated that we all experience at some point in our lives. Beautiful work!