Thursday, February 14, 2008

Univited

You throw your love at me like firecrackers
sparkling into thousands of pieces,
imbued with absolutions,


and just expect me to grasp
at flames.

To bless your sacred name
like you were my savior

from sin.

Did I ever ask for saving?

Should I fall upon my knees
and give thanks,
long after you burned me now
you grant
you grant
you grant

your love.




You might think it’s a deep, deep well
any woman would be lucky to
fall in.

Not looking for a chance to swim
back into your embrace.
Not hoping you can be the one
who saves

me,

not willing to be burned or scarred.

Can’t make love out of two scorched hearts.



Note- This poem was written for Patchwork Poetry with lines donated by these poets:

mariacristina,just paisley and jilly poet.

Thanks for the inspiration.

9 comments:

polkadotwitch said...

i like the heat of this and the snappy, short lines. it works with the content and the context!

you know we're yammering away over at the patchwork blog about process. it's my fault. anyway, i'm curious about how you chose the lines and how you did the writing between them. free write first? or is this just what came out?

whenever i do a piece that's inspired by others' lines, i wonder if the poem could work, afterwards, when those lines come out. i think you could extract them and have a poem of your own here. interesting!

writerwoman said...

Thanks for stopping by.

My process started with finding the amazing line
sparkling into thousands of pieces,

which I see many of the other poems also used.

I moved onto a couple of the other sites and found
imbued with absolutions.

Somehow those seemed to go hand in hand to me. I placed them together and then concieved the first line.

With that start, I did what I always do and just free wrote the rest. I wanted to get in at least one more line that was donated and found that the last one I used would fit perfectly.

I felt lucky to discover that line, it was like finding a gift, the last missing piece.

Christine said...

Sara, you let loose droplets of words, images, and thoughts. Lovely.

I can relate well to the feelings the narrator expresses about this love that is given like a rescue. The narrator of the poem is not broken, she doesn't need saving or fixing.

At the same time, the tone is one of simplicity, not anger or revenge.

The repetition of lines adds a mythic quality, almost like engraved words on stone. I like how you do this in Beloved too.

Thanks for outlining your process. Open-ended, and allowing to let out what needs to come out. You're a generous, honest writer.

paisley said...

this was very beautiful.. and that last line....

Can’t make love out of two scorched hearts.

it just doesn't get any better than that....

janetleigh said...

I can feel passion and resolve in words that pulse with indignation, Sara. The clipped lines are befitting the tone of this piece. Each image works extremely well. The first 3 lines are strong. They set the tone and the image of thrown firecrackers grabs my attention. Brilliant. I especially like the images of falling on your knees, swimming, falling, burning, and being scorched. This poem definitely sizzles, Sara!

gautami tripathy said...

This jumped out to me, the short and long lines suit the mood here. I loved the last two lines.

UL said...

i loved the way you did this patchwork, will have to try one sometime...lovely

Anna said...

This is a fantastic job. Very well done.

STP said...

Very potent, indeed! My favorite part is the repetition of "you grant," as if it is such a privilege and favor.