tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post7883454259021338872..comments2023-10-26T06:37:21.560-05:00Comments on The Shores of My Dreams: Univitedwriterwomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07645753712657412094noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-81492117169443942172008-02-20T05:57:00.000-06:002008-02-20T05:57:00.000-06:00Very potent, indeed! My favorite part is the repe...Very potent, indeed! My favorite part is the repetition of "you grant," as if it is such a privilege and favor.STPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18010661731570038007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-1232807819519180152008-02-16T07:19:00.000-06:002008-02-16T07:19:00.000-06:00This is a fantastic job. Very well done.This is a fantastic job. Very well done.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04660551089821141019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-63266231083051849502008-02-15T10:18:00.000-06:002008-02-15T10:18:00.000-06:00i loved the way you did this patchwork, will have ...i loved the way you did this patchwork, will have to try one sometime...lovelyULhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15005895432233940416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-33261062301169482192008-02-15T01:51:00.000-06:002008-02-15T01:51:00.000-06:00This jumped out to me, the short and long lines su...This jumped out to me, the short and long lines suit the mood here. I loved the last two lines.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-76035909967924271932008-02-14T22:54:00.000-06:002008-02-14T22:54:00.000-06:00I can feel passion and resolve in words that pulse...I can feel passion and resolve in words that pulse with indignation, Sara. The clipped lines are befitting the tone of this piece. Each image works extremely well. The first 3 lines are strong. They set the tone and the image of thrown firecrackers grabs my attention. Brilliant. I especially like the images of falling on your knees, swimming, falling, burning, and being scorched. This poem definitely sizzles, Sara!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-81967039679779590272008-02-14T21:17:00.000-06:002008-02-14T21:17:00.000-06:00this was very beautiful.. and that last line....Ca...this was very beautiful.. and that last line....<BR/><BR/>Can’t make love out of two scorched hearts.<BR/><BR/>it just doesn't get any better than that....paisleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231453820728399262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-30103189479486587112008-02-14T19:53:00.000-06:002008-02-14T19:53:00.000-06:00Sara, you let loose droplets of words, images, and...Sara, you let loose droplets of words, images, and thoughts. Lovely.<BR/><BR/>I can relate well to the feelings the narrator expresses about this love that is given like a rescue. The narrator of the poem is not broken, she doesn't need saving or fixing.<BR/><BR/>At the same time, the tone is one of simplicity, not anger or revenge.<BR/><BR/>The repetition of lines adds a mythic quality, almost like engraved words on stone. I like how you do this in Beloved too.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for outlining your process. Open-ended, and allowing to let out what needs to come out. You're a generous, honest writer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-43261495945098353702008-02-14T17:50:00.000-06:002008-02-14T17:50:00.000-06:00Thanks for stopping by.My process started with fin...Thanks for stopping by.<BR/><BR/>My process started with finding the amazing line<BR/>sparkling into thousands of pieces,<BR/><BR/>which I see many of the other poems also used.<BR/><BR/>I moved onto a couple of the other sites and found<BR/>imbued with absolutions.<BR/><BR/>Somehow those seemed to go hand in hand to me. I placed them together and then concieved the first line.<BR/><BR/>With that start, I did what I always do and just free wrote the rest. I wanted to get in at least one more line that was donated and found that the last one I used would fit perfectly.<BR/><BR/>I felt lucky to discover that line, it was like finding a gift, the last missing piece.writerwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07645753712657412094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35391385.post-84070881432217287522008-02-14T17:21:00.000-06:002008-02-14T17:21:00.000-06:00i like the heat of this and the snappy, short line...i like the heat of this and the snappy, short lines. it works with the content and the context! <BR/><BR/>you know we're yammering away over at the patchwork blog about process. it's my fault. anyway, i'm curious about how you chose the lines and how you did the writing between them. free write first? or is this just what came out?<BR/><BR/>whenever i do a piece that's inspired by others' lines, i wonder if the poem could work, afterwards, when those lines come out. i think you could extract them and have a poem of your own here. interesting!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com