Monday, October 22, 2007

teetering precariously,

this
heart in me
clings to your confession-
my water in the desert,
my oxygen on the moon.

who could have known?
who knew?

mere breaths from dying
and then there was




you.

13 comments:

Christine said...

my oxygen on the moon - my favorite verse.

I love the way the narrator shows us her thoughts.

Found you through Writer's Island's comments on a Poetry Wave.

S. Thomas Summers said...

passion is tangible. many thanks.

S. Thomas Summers

www.freewebs.com/sthomassummers

gautami tripathy said...

"my oxygen on the moon"

I like the way it flows..

paisley said...

often when the tide of life has ebbed out to the furthest point,, is when it brings back in with it,, that we have been forever searching for,, yet really never understood we had only just lost....

beautiful

paris parfait said...

An unexpected jolt of hope - lovely!

tumblewords said...

love the format of this piece - and the thought - and the words!

Marja said...

and then there was you Very lovely

Greggo said...

this is absolutely beautiful!

UL said...

oh wow, that was fab. Loved it!

Brian said...

i really like the way you use space to make your reader read the poem at the pace you want it to be read. it has the effect of really making me breath with the poem, which has an added effect to the content/ ;)

Anna said...

I like the imagery and the lines about the oxygen and moon rang true for me, but probably in a different way than was meant. I was wondering what it was about ...

crimsonflaw said...

I loved ´ who knew ´ ...the emphasis on the wealth of some secret sorrow...

my friend my pc died last week. i bought this new one ....will it last ? who knows...am sorry i wasnt really there...your particular brand of stillness settles like frost on the poem you wrote

janetleigh said...

I like the imagery and words you used to describe your deeply felt emotions and especially like these 2 lines:

"my water in the desert,
my oxygen on the moon."

Excellent!