see me in the chipped paint.
smell me in the dirt, the dust, the musky smell of
rot-
in this place that time forgot.
You loved me not.
For you ran out, and ditched me on the side of this dirt road
long, long,
before
the end of breath in me.
Feel me in the breeze,
haunted angry screams rip through
the trees
yelling about lust, discarded dreams and us-
yelling about trust, discarded dreams and us.
Note- This was written for Poetry Thursday. The idea was to write a poem inspired by a picture of your own choosing.
My photo came from here,
a site with pictures that are in the public domain.
The artist who took it is named Clarita
12 comments:
When I connect the poem to the picture, it is the house that is yelling.
Yes, the surrounds of this picture are actually quite beautiful, the building, though neglected looking, actaully seems to belong, like the words of this poem the subject has settled into the scenery despite the torment and neglect. Very interesting.
Ilove this poem, and it goes prefectly with the picture. I love how the pictures are setting a mood, and the poems are filling it. I love the way you have used rhyme and repition, especially rot and forgot and the ending couplet. It's a very clean, small and very mighty poem!
The picture and poem go together beautifully. I love the yellow tinge of the photo...makes me think of the dust bowl...your poem captures this so well.
thank you so much for keeping in touch
you have no idea what that means to me
Very haunting. The picture and the poem fit perfectly together. "See me in the chipped paint" is a very effective, forceful beginning. This poem screams to have your attention.
Beautifully done.
I can really sense the desolate abandonment in both words and photo.
Profound piece, thanks for sharing
beautiful sara...you know how i treasure the haunting element and how i always speak of the layers of composition in your work. there is a gust in this poem balanced in the arrangement of lines..... and it picks up the glance with musical violence...i am rambling away because these are my favourite themes sara
and sometimes i think all your efforts at bringing us together take you away from your precious solitude... write my friend , just write on ...
Beautiful as always, Sara.
Enjoy your poetry-writing!
Haunting and wonderful. I love this: 'Feel me in the breeze, haunted angry screams rip through the trees'
the beginning of this poem is especially strong.
"see me in the chipped paint.
smell me in the dirt, the dust, the musky smell of
rot-
in this place that time forgot."
there is something about the "me" in the beginning that is stronger than the "me" in the middle of the poem.
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