Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Beauty Within

With fluid lines that flow like glass
and subtle curves that glide and mask
your shrouded secrets that sound
like the past

from which the world began.

Blue white foam
roars through your vessel
coming home
rolling until it lessens
again and then again and again and

again

whispering about dreams of sand.


Note- This was written for Poetry Thursday. The idea was to write a poem that describes something beautiful without revealing what the subject matter was. Check the comments to see the answer to the object this poem describes.

20 comments:

writerwoman said...

Did you guess right?

It is about a seashell.

Susan Abraham said...

I thought about things colourful and creamy, Sara. Also mirrored images came to mind. Good work! :-)

DewyKnickers said...

Great poem, this brings to mind waves crashing on the beach.

Rose

xo

Brian said...

I like how you created mystery out of something ordinary. The sounds and the textures.

Great poem.

Natalie said...

I was thinking of the beach. But now I've read the other comments, is it a seashell?! I really liked this poem. The rhythm is right on and it flows beautifully, communicating the flowing nature of the content. Really well done.

writerwoman said...

Yes it is about a seashell.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Chris came up with a great idea for this week's subject.

Dennis said...

Very cool! Everyones' poems are making me think so much this week! I enjoyed your poem!!

Jessica said...

Yay! I got another one right, before I checked the comments. (I haven't been doing too well today on other people's sites.)

This was really well done. I love the roundness of the poem and the dreams of sand at the end.

Pauline said...

A sea shell. I'd thought at first the waves. Love the last line.

gautami tripathy said...

Great images. I enjoyed the description very much.


gautami
Parallel Streams

Crafty Green Poet said...

Yes this describes a seashell beautifully, especially the last line.

Clockworkchris said...

So many hints yet I had no idea. Sara this was written so well. I think you did a wonderful job and I like that you left the first comment to avoid the guessing game. I really liked "Blue white foam roars through your vessel"

pepektheassassin said...

Made me think of the ocean, too. Not too far from a seashell! Many nice visuals here.

pepektheassassin said...

Oh, and I meant to tell you that there are a lot of nice internal rhymes and slant rhymes in this!

crimsonflaw said...

beautiful, it does not matter what it was about....but it is only appropriate that you had the sea shell in mind. In some cultures it is believed that the sea can only be found in sea shells...

I loved the colours, the layers, the quietness of the tide and the way the shingle submits itself to the toes...only to find the eye ..

sara this doodling comment is consequenced by the imagery you came up with.

the first line alone is a poem in itself.. and the way you induce the past in the stanza that unfurls later is absolutely breath taking. I loved the dreams of sand and their wanton interference with the homeward bound.

beautiful poem ... I would once again invite your readers to go back to the month of october and read

'' this is the heart of darkness ''

I will be under its spell forever and ever ... keep writing my friend...keep writing ... it adds a wealth of seas to my idle hours..

your friend
shakir

Marie said...

Beautiful images. I enjoyed reading this.

Mallikarjun said...

Whoa. I spent quite some time trying to figure out what it is about. Man. My guesses were nowhere near the correct one. Hehe. But then, that is the beauty of not explicity mentioning what the object is. There is so much openness to interpretation. :)

Debbie said...

I REALLY enjoyed this poem tremendously. It describes in such coloful manner.
Excellent poem!

Tiel Aisha Ansari said...

Hi Sara,

The carnival is up at Knocking From Inside! Come check it out.

janetleigh said...

The last several lines, while reading out loud, felt like waves washing in; that it could be a seashell surfin' in makes it exquisite, Sara..:)