Saturday, January 26, 2008

A curse
he harbored within his soul-
secrets making that
young man

before his time.


Till the acid of those lies
like internal sores and his mouth
could deny
no more.

He slammed
bricks of truth
on the wood floor.

***The last sentence comes from Mariacristina, who donated it at Poets Who Blog Interactive.
Feel free to stop by and take part in our poetry prompts there.


qualcosa di bello said...

very a warning as much as a story.

i am very fond of your work, both writing & what you do to pull poets together online. i hope you don't mind, but i have passed a writing award along to you...


STP said...

Yes, I agree. This piece is forceful and a lesson. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Sara, this is great. I like the subtle rhyme of more and floor at the end, the repeating lines, and the strong images. I also like how you broke up my line.

The theme is great too, how the force of truth ultimately will have its way out of the body, like a force of nature. Love it!

PS Would you mind if I posted on the topic of the interactive poets who blog, linking to it? I'd love to get the word out, with more people sharing lines. We could even combine several lines in one poem.

~beth ♥ said...

This piece is absolutely stunning! I'm not sure which site linked me over here, but I will be coming back.

paisley said...

this one was full of power for me,, i can literally see him throwint the truth down screaming at the top of his voice.. "i did it!!!!".. very moving...

and thank you for visiting.. i was mainly afraid i was doing something wrong.....

susan said...

Till the acid of those lies/
bled/like internal sores.

Strong image, but may I ask why 'bled' is separated? For me, I don't see how it strengthen the simile.