Reflections dance upon the grave
where I lay
every molecule of pain
you ever gave
to me.
Bitterness
shimmers in the
dying rays
of the sunset
on the
darkest day
of winter this year.
Crows cry in the rain
as all you ever gave
all you ever gave
dies and withers away
away
away
11 comments:
The opening lines are fantastic, Sara.
The sense of movement and pain. the constrast of the dark/light with the bitter and its dying away.
I can see this place, but also see the actions that take place in one swoop, and the feeling that it creates. Very well done.
These are powerful opening lines and the intense emotion of this one is palpable, Sara.
"Bitterness shimmers in the dying rays.."
"Crows cry in the rain"
These images are now branded on my mind. Excellent images and exceptionally rendered in fresh, descriptive language, Sara. Very good, this..:)
I liked this line:
"Crows cry in the rain"
What a picture
brialliant imagery.
crows, rain and the molecular assumption. fascinating.
the washing away is what i loved most.
sara
the ending is an echo--goes nicely with crows--well done!
scot
http://midwestpoet.wordpress.com
Hey happy new year Sara... :))
"Crows cry in the rain"
wonderful line. build a poem around that line!!
thanks.
Some beautiful and very powerful images there, Sara.
I like the line, "Crows cry in the rain"
a melancholy, evocative poem.
Hi Sara, thank you first off for welcoming me to Poetswhoblog. I love this piece, reminds me of Emily Dickinson in a way, and that is a major compliment since I think she was my first inspiration. thank you so much for your kind words an I look forward to reading more.
I honestly felt EVERY line in this poem. It comes unsuspecting, but with a sweeping power. Wonderful!
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