Thursday, July 26, 2007

Suicide

You found me standing on the bluffs.
hollowed eyed, bemoaning lust-
and all that it had done
to undo me.

It left me gasping shallow air,
choking on sins and despair-
far from the girl
you once knew
as me.

Your greedy hands
they brought me
down.

Oh, what a shame,
I loved the
fall-

and in your name I did it all.

Look what
I have done to me, to me, to me.

Look what I have done to...
me.

Look what I have....

15 comments:

crimsonflaw said...

ah ha, my friend has written on suicide and how very like the subject my glance falls right down to the last line ....a poem on suicide left untied..!! what a beuaitufl thought sara, and what i realy loved was the expression '' shallow air'' it is always this bitter sweet very precious tender delicate melancholy that i gather from your words and then i walk away to the chapters and verses of life, but your words remain , like as would the lance in the dragon's eye, the flowers so beautiful that they still the blizzard, and footfalls so light that time looks back over its shoulders... this was you , and it was beautiful, and i wish you the very best my friend, someday perhaps all the poets should gather togehre to cast their cares into the pyre...

thank you sara, you inspire me into writing what is shared with you at the truest level of friendship.

crimsonflaw said...

the typos are a function of haste...the rest is your beautiful poem flowing in and out of the comment

Brian said...

I was so excited to see a new poem here, but this by far exceded my expectation.

Oh, what a shame,
I loved the
fall-

amazing.

PoisOn CoAtEd ELiXir said...

i could not leave without saying "beautiful"
i cannot navigate away from the thought

paisley said...

this was wonderful.. i felt as if i was in fact falling with her... just great....

Rax said...

wow. love how you ended this. the missing word speaks loudly. wonderful.

reluctantscribe said...

This poem leaves me gasping...I'm with Brian, this has had me transfixed:

'Oh, what a shame,
I loved the
fall-

and in your name I did it all.'

And I love the way it moves towards its inevitable denouement.

Lisa said...

"You found me standing on the bluffs" - it's an inviting line I think. Beautiful poem - I liked it very much.

Lyrically speaking said...

Lyrically beautiful...I can hear this as a song, you have very catchy lines in this piece. I love it!!

crimsonflaw said...

hope you are doing well my friend. take care of yoruself.

shakir

writerwoman said...

Hi,

I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking. I am just having some computer issues that are keeping me offline somewhat these days. Hopefully it will all be cleared up soon.

Wishing you all the best,

Sara

crimsonflaw said...

sara, i was just wandering through the riches and treasures on the shores of your dreams
for the first t ime i lingered long by the title..and that sub title way up there
'' these words will prove that i lived ''

sara, the million smiles you bring, the warmth and generosity of your heart and your willingness to share will prove that this world was not a mere cosmic figment dwindling itno words like these.

may the best in life be yours my friend. there are ways to address sorrow...and there is a certain grace which only a few have. and you my friend with your shores and your dreams have it in the deepest measure..

love
your friend shakir

Clockworkchris said...

Hi, I'm back...finally. Sorry it's been so long. Work has been a problem so I am taking a haitus. This was a really interesting post. It has so much emotion inside it I was scared for you, but then I decided it was just a poem and not a cry for help. Once again my job surfacing. Your use of repetition never ceases to amaze me.

I hope you will come back and see what I have done with my blog. I am writing poetry again, although I'm a bit rusty.

writerwoman said...

Chris,

Don't worry it is not a cry for help, not in the least.

It's good to hear you are back to writing again. I'm rather rusty myself these days. I plan to check out A Writer's Island for new prompts starting this weekend and maybe that will keep me back in gear. Here's hoping it works!

Find a link to that brand new site, which is sort of like Poetry Thursday used to be, at Poets Who Blog.

Sara

Maxima said...

Good words.